Fresh Start

It was time to start looking for another church. I liked  Calvary Chapel well enough, but it seemed like I was trying to making myself fit where I wasn't supposed to be. I tried going back to a few other churches that we had been to previously. For some churches, one visit was enough. We went back to Olive Branch. We had liked the teaching and the music, but we also knew some people who were attending from the old Nazarene church. I thought to myself, "Here we go again. Time to but the question mark back. " I was actually dreading going to church. There were a few Sundays were I just couldn't go. I don't know what it was. There was just something wrong with me. I started going because Nick seemed to like it. After awhile I started seeing more faces that I recognized. Faces from the Nazarene church. Faces from Calvary Chapel. It helped me to know that others were in transition as well. People dropped little hints. "Wouldn't be cool to see you up there with the worship team playing bass." "The youth pastor really has his hands full with all those teens. You should at least go and check it out." The more people hinted (which actually felt like pushing), the more I regretted coming to a church with familiar faces. They meant well enough, but I really wanted to be left alone. It became a struggle to leave the house on Sundays. Maybe this sounds a little selfish, but this is how I was feeling.
I took the membership class and became a full fledged member, but still was not willing to sign up for anything. We were supposed to list our past ministerial experiences and then meet with Buzz, an associate pastor, to find out where to get "plugged in". I talked to him and told him that I couldn't serve anywhere at the moment. We had a nice long talk. He said that was fine and to let him know when things might change and to let him know if there was anything he or the church could do in the meantime.
I remember meeting with Justin, the small groups pastor. He heard that I was part of a small group that met at Bill and Marla's home. He had also heard that I was teaching it. We met one day at the local Starbucks and discussed a class that the church offered. It was called Starting Point. He thought it might be worth my checking out. Well it turned out to be a pretty good class. It was more of a discussion group than a bible study. The leaders were very nice and informative. Well one thing led to another and I found myself co-leading the group. It has been very good. It's nice to see that adults struggle with alot of the same questions that my teens did. Same root issues, but just different settings. Things like does God care? Why is there so much bad stuff in the world? And so on. Well I guess I finally committed myself to something once again. It feels nice.